. . . and a language
and a culture. Pamela Druckerman’s Bringing Up Bébé begins
with the assumption that French parents manage to lead lives that
are relatively free of stress while raising well-behaved children and not
losing sight of themselves as individuals. She sets out to identify the
‘secrets’ of French parenting. What she finds is that unlike American parents,
who valiantly try to find or create a parenting style that ‘fits’
them, French children are raised in an amazingly homogenous framework, or cadre freeing their
parents to devote time and energy to their careers and outside interests.
Druckerman provides a detailed overview of the benefits available to French
parents. Is the explanation to be found in the affordable day care, free public
school from the age of three, universal healthcare, long vacations, numerous
tax breaks and incentives or is there some other more mysterious key to French
parenting?
Druckerman states in the beginning of the book, “As an
American, I need things to be spelled out.” (p. 14) American, and particularly
Northern American, culture is what Edward T. Hall described
as ‘low-context’, whereas French culture is comparatively ‘high-context’.
High-context cultures tend to be collectivist rather than individualistic and
highly relational with strong personal bonds, closely knit family groups and
high levels of commitment. With a high degree of shared experiences and
expectations, there is less need for things to be made explicit.
In low-context cultures codes are more visible and more easily
articulated.
As a high-context culture, the French generally don’t feel
the need to do their homework with respect to child-rearing as there is broad
agreement on the general practices. By the same token, the French don’t like to
admit to resorting to cookbooks. Americans, perhaps the greatest individualists
on earth, feel the need to customize their environments in order to feel
comfortable and in control, which is often the same thing. This overarching
need for an individualized experience, from restaurant substitutions and sauce
on the side, to individual birth plans leaves the French shaking their
heads in bemusement and muttering, ‘n’importe
quoi,’ which Druckerman translates literally as ‘whatever’, but a
translation that captures its usage is ‘what the hell’, or ‘that’s bullshit’,
or ‘that’s just ridiculous.’ The reaction to that which elicits the n’importe quoi is always
negative.
While Druckerman is looking to unlock the secrets of French
parenting, she inadvertently identifies codes that can be applied to French
society as a whole. French parenting style is not child-centered, it’s
French-centered. Children are educated from the very beginning to assume a role
in the greater ‘adult’ world. The rules are not just for children to behave,
but rules that reinforce the codes that allow entry to French society. The
social pressure to respect authority in broad strokes is so deeply rooted, that
when questioned about certain aspects of French life, the response is often a
shrug and a ‘c’est comme ça.’,
that’s just the way it is.
 |
L’art de discuter begins early
© 1995 Victor Vianu
|
The French government-subsidized daycare system and free
public school that begins as early as age 2 ½ with an 8-hour school day and
affordable after school programs, not only allow parents to work, but they also
function as citizen-building greenhouses. The family and school are a child’s
main cultural references. The child has a place within the family and the
school, and thus in the wider world. Through adherence to the structure and the
rules of this social framework, the child learns patience and self-control.
Young girls learn that they can pursue higher education and training, seeing in
their environment that they will not have to choose between children and a
career when they grow up. Young boys see that educated, independent women are
the norm.
In the ideal pedagogical situation, learning is reinforced
on multiple levels, across different disciplines and through a variety of
mediums. The French school consciously transmits the ideals of the République which are
reinforced in the family by adults who as children assimilated the
same values themselves. Druckerman emphasizes that while there is wide
agreement in society about the value of this cadre, there is also acceptance of greater liberty within
it. Strong adherence to basic rules and codes allows for greater freedom within
the framework.
It will come as no surprise to anyone who has spent time in France that
this framework is created and structured through language and food traditions. Druckerman
mentions the lengths to which American parents go to create a stimulating
environment for their children. French parents don’t feel this need because
they believe that their environment is stimulating enough. The French value ‘culture
générale’, a well-rounded education and the ability to converse about
and engage in a wide range of subjects. They have opinions and can defend them.
They expect others to do so as well. The French have a shared corpus of
cultural and historical knowledge that they began to acquire at a very early
age in the French school system.
When adults meet children in social settings, they’ll ask, ‘T’es dans quelle classe cette
année ?’ “What grade are you in this year? But
when they ask, they also know what the child is studying and enjoy discussing
it with him or her. Troisième ? (9thgrade
in the U.S.).
The Enlightenment? Have you read Montaigne’s On Cannibalism yet? It’s also not unusual for adults to
reminisce about classic texts memorized in elementary school and for all
present to try to remember the words to Jacques Prevert’s long poem En Sortant de l’Ecole, ‘Leaving
School’, or to refer to La Fontaine’s Le
Corbeau et le Renard, The Crow and the Fox, with its famous line, “Mon bon Monsieur, Apprenez que tout
flatteur vit aux dépens de celui qui l'écoute. Cette leçon vaut bien un fromage, sans
doute.” “My dear sir, learn that every flatterer lives at the
expense of those who listen to him. This lesson is worth a piece of
cheese, no doubt.” In 'Leaving
School', a poem about a
crazy afternoon train ride around the world, delicacies such as saumon fumé, smoked salmon, and oursins, sea urchins, are
mentioned. Both poems are examples of cultural norms transmitted through
language and food.
Food comes up repeatedly in Druckerman’s book because it
hits all of the cultural memes and chief among them is ‘Lack of structure leads
to lack of self-restraint.’ Druckerman notes that in comparison to French
children, American toddlers are constantly snacking. An English professor I
know who taught American students in a study abroad program complained about
student behavior in class, “They’re always eating! Don’t they ever stop?” This
is where a French person would interject, “N’importe quoi.”
Tradition or the cadre structures the day and
mealtimes. The fact that the society as a whole eats lunch at noon or 1pm, with
a coffee or snack break at 4, and then dinner at 8 makes it easier to regulate
eating and also provides a framework for social interaction. Structured eating times provide an opportunity for those
convivial moments and the discussions that define the framework of French
culture. This is why cultural trainers always say if colleagues ask you to
lunch join them no matter how much work you have because this is the time that
connections are formed, an essential component of successful integration.
Druckerman interviews not only other mothers, both French
and American, but she also takes her investigation to the institutional level.
She may be the only American journalist to have sat in on meetings with school
nutritionists, for example. Surprisingly, the issue of religious dietary
restrictions does not come up since school nutritionists do make an effort to
offer non-pork items for Jewish and Muslim children. Indeed, the ‘wisdom of
French parenting’ that Druckerman espouses is dependent on wide societal
acceptance of French values. Her book does not discuss the evolving
heterogeneous nature of French culture today with the influx of immigrants from
Northern and Sub-Saharan Africa and their accompanying cultural differences. The
French government does see the need to promote the values that define the
French societal framework and since 2008, is directly addressing acculturation
and assimilation with required ‘Welcome and Integration’ seminars for all new
immigrants.
With her ‘I’m just another neurotic New Yorker trying to get
through the day’ style, Druckerman entertains and informs based on her
experiences and well-documented research. I look forward to her next book from France, and
hope it will be on the French school system.
Sources:
- Druckerman, Pamela (2012) Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the
Wisdom of French Parenting, The
Penguin Press: New York.
- Hall, Edward T. (1976) Beyond Culture, Anchor
Books, New York.
- Characteristics of Hall’s High-and Low-Context Cultures,
Thanks to:
Ann M. Johns
(Professor Emerita, San Diego
State University),
who first introduced me to the importance of considering high and low-context
cultures in the development of English for Specific materials.
Gayle Zachmann
(Associate Professor of French, University
of Florida; former Director, UF Paris
Research Center;), for her stupendous lectures and insight on the development
and transmission of cultural values from the Third Republic
to today.
Vocabulaire/Vocabulary
Le cadre/Framework
Culture générale/To say one has a good
‘general culture’ means that one is cultured.
N’importe quoi/What the hell?
C’est comme ça/That’s [just] the way it is.
Le saumon fumé/Smoked salmon
L’oursin/sea urchin
T’es dans quelle classe, cette annee ?/What
grade are you in this year ?
L’ecole maternelle/Pre-school
Petite section/Pre-school
(3 years old)
Moyenne section/Pre-K
Grande section/Kindergarden
L’école primaire/Primary School
CP -
Cours
Préparatoire/1st grade U.S.
CE1 - Cours
Elémentaire 1/2nd grade U.S.
CE 2 - Cours
Elémentaire 2/3rd grade U.S.
CM1 -
Cours
Moyen 1/4th grade U.S.
CM2 - Cours
Moyen 2/5th grade U.S.
Le college/Middle School
6ème
- Sixième/6th
grade U.S.
5ème
- Cinquième/7th
grade U.S.
4ème
- Quatrième/8th
grade U.S.
3ème
- Troisième/9th
grade U.S.
Le lycée/High
School
Seconde/10th
grade U.S.
Première/11th
grade U.S.
Terminale/12th
grade U.S.
